Mother is said to be creator of new life. Woman is said to be Shakti. Today Mumbai women seem to have decided to prove these beliefs wrong. She has not only proved herself weak but also has become destroyer by killing her own offsprings.
I am talking about suicides of two women in Mumbai in last two months. Nidhi Gupta killed her two children by throwing from 19th floor of her residence building who were both below 8 years of age & later jumped herself behind them. Just after a month of this horrible incident one more woman Dipti Chauhan repeated the same act with her one & only 5 year old son from terrace of her 7 storey-building.
Attempting suicide is a cowardice act in itself. Moreover whatsoever pain is agonizing you in life can not be so big that it can make you contemplating suicide. Even if you are upset with your life, just because you suffered nine months pain to bring your child into this world do not give you the right to end its life. Those tiny innocent lives have not yet even begun and before that their own creator destroys them. How unjust & sad!
Why these two women could not sort the issues out? They could have taken their parents in confidence. If their husbands were useless, they could have filed divorce. Don't know about Dipti, but Nidhi was a CA & a professor. Could not these ladies have opted to separate from their husbands and lived on their own. In a city like Mumbai, it is not that difficult for anybody to make two ends meet. Then why die? And kill your innocent children? Why such harshest punishment to them due to your own problems with your spouse/in-laws or your incapability of handling pressure. You should behave maturely.
Lesson to learn for parents of married daughters is to understand the cues. When your married daughter gives you slightest hint also about the harassment from her husband or in-laws, help her. Stand by her. Even if financially it is not possible for you to help her, give her moral support. In a city like Mumbai it is not that difficult to live a life of your own if one has the strong determination to live and face challenges life offers.
Another strong point I want to make through this blog is about Media. They play a dirty role in such situations. We shall understand that it is their job to sensationalize issues. Don't take them too seriously. You should pay attention to only good & positive stories. I read yesterday only that people in depression get more depressed by such stories and get encouraged taking such drastic steps. Dipti was strongly moved by reading Nidhi's case and probably got inspired to end her & her child's lives from Nidhi's case only. I have not even completed this blog and I read one more suicide story of a man who killed his wife and child before killing himself. Media creates hype. They show gruesome photographs of such incidents which really affect weak minds and rather than spreading the right message, inspires people to do the wrong.
You should have a strong emotional quotient. Any issue be it grave or minimal, shall be discussed with your friends, family members. Nothing in this world is impossible. No problem in this world and in human life can be such that it does not have a solution. Every dark tunnel has an opening towards the end & light near that opening. One shall ask for help and take some one else's opinion when he or she can not think by him/her self. If there is nobody close to you, today there are so many help lines also available for counseling. But never in your dream also think about suicide.
I am talking about suicides of two women in Mumbai in last two months. Nidhi Gupta killed her two children by throwing from 19th floor of her residence building who were both below 8 years of age & later jumped herself behind them. Just after a month of this horrible incident one more woman Dipti Chauhan repeated the same act with her one & only 5 year old son from terrace of her 7 storey-building.
Attempting suicide is a cowardice act in itself. Moreover whatsoever pain is agonizing you in life can not be so big that it can make you contemplating suicide. Even if you are upset with your life, just because you suffered nine months pain to bring your child into this world do not give you the right to end its life. Those tiny innocent lives have not yet even begun and before that their own creator destroys them. How unjust & sad!
Why these two women could not sort the issues out? They could have taken their parents in confidence. If their husbands were useless, they could have filed divorce. Don't know about Dipti, but Nidhi was a CA & a professor. Could not these ladies have opted to separate from their husbands and lived on their own. In a city like Mumbai, it is not that difficult for anybody to make two ends meet. Then why die? And kill your innocent children? Why such harshest punishment to them due to your own problems with your spouse/in-laws or your incapability of handling pressure. You should behave maturely.
Lesson to learn for parents of married daughters is to understand the cues. When your married daughter gives you slightest hint also about the harassment from her husband or in-laws, help her. Stand by her. Even if financially it is not possible for you to help her, give her moral support. In a city like Mumbai it is not that difficult to live a life of your own if one has the strong determination to live and face challenges life offers.
Another strong point I want to make through this blog is about Media. They play a dirty role in such situations. We shall understand that it is their job to sensationalize issues. Don't take them too seriously. You should pay attention to only good & positive stories. I read yesterday only that people in depression get more depressed by such stories and get encouraged taking such drastic steps. Dipti was strongly moved by reading Nidhi's case and probably got inspired to end her & her child's lives from Nidhi's case only. I have not even completed this blog and I read one more suicide story of a man who killed his wife and child before killing himself. Media creates hype. They show gruesome photographs of such incidents which really affect weak minds and rather than spreading the right message, inspires people to do the wrong.
You should have a strong emotional quotient. Any issue be it grave or minimal, shall be discussed with your friends, family members. Nothing in this world is impossible. No problem in this world and in human life can be such that it does not have a solution. Every dark tunnel has an opening towards the end & light near that opening. One shall ask for help and take some one else's opinion when he or she can not think by him/her self. If there is nobody close to you, today there are so many help lines also available for counseling. But never in your dream also think about suicide.
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Nice article. I feel what u hav expressed in ur blog is absolutely right
ReplyDeleteWe need to be present for our loved ones and friends wen they need us and hav strong determination to overcome all our difficulties and live
Problems in life are to make us more strong and not to giv up......
life is the most beautiful gift given to us by GOD , we cannot waist it bcoz of our weak minds and frustrations....................
Warm Regards,
Bernadine Swamy
Dear Vikas
ReplyDeleteYour way of looking at it. Hundreds of women commit suicide and these go unreported. Here the women threw down their own children that is why the issue has become so famous. Modernism has not changed the world or the way women are treated. Education and society have not changed for woman, even if their are from any society. Nidhi and Dipti come from decent backgrounds, but even their parents would not have supported their leaving their husbands and staying with their parents.
A woman in such a situation has the following to think.
a. She has children who love here and need her...if she dies who will look after them. Will the husband care for them or will he get married again or throw them in some ashram for orphans?
b. Mental harassment can be tolerated for sometime...what happens if it continues for years is there something called as "sabar ka baandh". Do you even know the words men accuse their wives of! and not one day for years!
c. Woman who have left their husbands, whosever fault it is are not treated kindly by society, such a woman struggles to find her way and "samman"
d. Even educated and modern parents refuse to take their girls home saying that the husbands house is their permanent home! I have seen this in so many cases.
e. Educated men like Dipti and Nidhi's husbands are the cause of this treatment! Why were these men not capable of handling their situation......
f. Educated men are subjecting Nidhi and Dipti to these treatments...you are questioning Nidhi and Dipti - has anyone even brought up why these women were forced to take these steps? Why should the resolution be only from the woman's side?
g. Divorce is not a solution...have you thought of the grounds divorces are obtained based on? The husband can simply prove infidelity or abusive or not competent behavior or anything under the sun. But once accused the imprint is left for lives.
Vikas maybe you don't see it...but educated and mature women too face a lot of pressure....These were home makers and yet they tolerated so much... what about the millions of woman who work and keep their home life in balance!
Woman cannot continue to be Shakti forever if man wants to play Raavan!
Regards,
Veena D'Souza
vikas,
ReplyDeleteu shld write a full post on the media...
media is a two edged sword - they can make a story and also break it with equal force...
check out the story of Sonu Sinha... the same media who tuk up her cause is now publicising her apparent dishonesty... u can play with anyone, but not the media!!!
Regards,
Srilaxmi V. Pai
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