Wednesday, November 19, 2014

Touch...

This is a beautiful story shared by a colleague-friend  whose author is unknown but it reminds me of 'Touch'...hence sharing it with all through this blog....

Bring Back The Touch...

When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.

Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce.. I raised the topic calmly.

She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?
I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Dew. I didn't love her anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company.

She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Dew so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Dew.

When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce.
She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month's time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day.

She requested that everyday for the month's duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.

I told Dew about my wife's divorce conditions... She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully..

My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don't tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office..

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time.. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me.

On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Dew about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.

Suddenly it hit me... she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mum out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy.

I drove to office.... jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind.... I walked upstairs. Dew opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Dew, I do not want the divorce anymore.

She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Dew, I said, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other any more. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart.

Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.

At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.

That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed - dead.

The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank, blah..blah..blah. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!

Friday, May 17, 2013

If my dad was a politician ...

If my dad was a politician then I would also have become a politician myself!

After all, two good people can bring about better changes than a single soul!

We would be awesome-twosome!

In order to make India corruption free and an advanced nation more and more honest, efficient, well educated and good-charactered politicians are the need of the hour...

This post is written for the Weekend Contest in association with Shoes of The Dead at BlogAdda.com.

Saturday, August 20, 2011

NSE Annual Day 2011

My Dear Blog Reader,


You must be wondering why my frequency of posting blogs here has reduced. But I can’t help it! I have started writing blogs in Gujarati – my mother tongue. And I thoroughly enjoy this experience! Since last two years my Guajarati blogs (many of which are translations of the posts written here) are regularly published in my column called ‘Blog Ne Zarookhe Thee…’ in Gujarati newspaper ‘Janmabhoomi’. There is a good fan following developed for this column and My reader’s responses are overwhelming! That keeps me motivated and encourages me to write more and regularly so due to time crunch I am not able to write much in English here. So pardon me for not writing here very often.

All the blogs published in the ‘Janmabhoomi’ column are published regularly by me at corresponding Gujarati blog website. So those of you who can read Guajarati please follow me at :

http://blognezarookhethee.blogspot.com/


…now one recent update for you all!

On 10th Aug 2011, I was felicitated by my organization for completing a decade long service @ NSE InfoTech Service Ltd. My happiness knew no bounds upon receiving this honour! Moreover I also participated in Prayer song (Ganpati PanchRatna Stotram composed by Adi Shankaracharya) that our annual day functions began with. Our very learned CTO (a thorough gentleman Mr Ravi Apte) had selected this prayer like last many years and me along with the whole group consisting of eight people (including very respected NSE seniors like Mr. Nandkumar and Ms Kamla K.) had a very good time not only while performing on the eve of the event but also while rehearsing for this prayer.(Rehearsal sessions had started a few days before the event). I don’t have any formal training in music but due to my artistic lineage I have a sense of rhythm. I have an ear for music and love listening to good music and singing too!

It was my good fortune that I came to know about this prayer song program from my colleague Dipti and I am grateful to ApteSir for allowing me to be part of the group despite of me joining the practice sessions just four days prior to the final event. Up to two days I was only listening the song to grasp the words, the lyrics and the tune in which the group (consisting of four males including me and four females) was singing. It was not an easy song. There were many high notes and in the same para there were the low notes as well! This song was sung by PadmaVibhushit Ms SubbaLaxmi. So one can imagine the kind of song it would be! For full three four days before the event, I had put this song on my Mobile in Repeat mode and must have heard it more than hundred times! I love it!

…and we sang it beautifully! Hear it here: Ganesh Panch Ratna Stotram sung by NSE group on Annual day 2011

By the way I not only sang but played Manjira (cymbals) also!

Here are the pictures of our group engrossed in singing and worshipping lord Ganesha with whose blessings we could sing such a difficult but wonderful prayer song nicely and got praised for our efforts by our colleagues!






Share your feedback too!

Here are few of my other pics (getting felicitated by our respected JMD Ms Chitra & CEO Mr Muralidaran)






Monday, May 30, 2011

Little kids : Our Teachers!

We can learn a great deal from little kids!


A small child is very simple. If it is beaten by father or mother, it cries for a while and then forgets the episode. It does not take an oath to teach its parent a lesson in future, it does not carry the baggage, it does not decide to take revenge. Why can't we adults learn this behaviour? By forgetting & forgiving in life, many times one gets a lot.

My little sweet angel daughter Namyaa is 11 months old but she daily teaches me a new lesson in life!

Daily whenever I return home after a tiring day at work, even though I am in a completely disheveled state with crumpled clothes due to mad-rush in overcrowded trains, Namyaa welcomes me with such a lovely trademark smile of hers and gets overjoyed that I completely forget everything else and even without removing my shoes and removing backpack from my shoulders, take her in my arms and give her a light peck on her chicks! She is so adorable! Her smile is magical! Here what we can learn from my little beloved is that even though you are lost in some important work, you should keep it aside for a while when somebody close to you arrives home from work & greet him or her with loving & warm smile.

Click here to view Namyaa's Pictures !
Namyaa (like her father) likes vibrant colours & designs, patterns. Whenever her eyes fall on something fancy, with complete focus & all her strength she tries to grab that object of her desire & rests only after picking that object in her tiny hands. And then what does she do? Whatever it is, puts it in her mouth! She does not understand it is not the object that can be eaten but by her this gestures teaches a great lesson. With great determination, focus & patience we shall chase our objectives and we are to achieve success in accomplishing them. All the unsuccessful attempts shall be retried with this strategy and then see how can success elude you.

Also it is as easy to divert Namyaa's attention elsewhere as simple & innocent she is! If some harmful or inappropriate object comes in her hand, give her some harmless colourful toy and she forgets the first harmful object and starts playing with the new toy! Here we can learn two lessons. One is we should not get attached to material things or objects beyond a certain point and two we shall learn to easily detach ourselves from materialistic things & objects. In life if we encounter a trouble, a problem or something negative then we shall not hold it for too long, divert attention on something we like & get fresh & then try to tackle the problem with a new outlook, a fresh perspective. We would get the solution in a short while for sure.

Other very simple but very important lesson children teach us is to express ourselves, our feelings. Many of our problems are due to getting clogged internally. We do not freely express our thoughts, ideas, problems & at times happiness too! A child will laugh when it wants to laugh & also cry when it cry. Have you seen a child dancing with joy or jumping or fluttering like a butterfly in the middle of the road as if nobody is watching it! And even if somebody watches it, it will smile & continue what it is doing! It is free of inhibitions, fears. When we cry, we shed our negative feelings through tears & become light. We shall not burden our heart & mind by storing thoughts or feelings there. You should see Namyaa smiling or laughing! How gorgeous she looks! My little Ms. Universe!...and at times she starts laughing in the middle of her crying! She has tears in her eyes & on cheeks, but the moment I call her, she turns her cute little face towards me & give me her million dollar sweet smile! I can't resist myself from taking her into my arms and give light pecks on her cheeks!

When Namyaa is overjoyed (most of the times she is!) she starts shaking both her hands in unison like a bird or a butterfly with that trademark smile of hers on her face! And at times also starts singing her 'ka..ka...ka..ka...' or 'aaa..aaa..aaa..aaa' song loudly in the language she only understands! She does not care a damn of the people present around! Can we be free like this?




Children are fearless but as they grow we instill different kinds of fear in them. Today Namyaa looks at a cockroach or a lizard and she tries to touch it or she sees a diya or a lit agarbatti, she tries to grab it in her tiny hands! It is true that in such instances, fear proves beneficial for the safety of child and it saves the child from harming itself but we shall not scare children unnecessarily or for our own convenience (which we many times do & curb their curiosity).In fact we shall accept the virtue of fearlessness from children to some extent!


Thus children can be our best teachers provided we have a yearning to learn!



Sunday, April 24, 2011

Never ever Think about Suicide...

Mother is said to be creator of new life. Woman is said to be Shakti. Today Mumbai women seem to have decided to prove these beliefs wrong. She has not only proved herself weak but also has become destroyer by killing her own offsprings.


I am talking about suicides of two women in Mumbai in last two months. Nidhi Gupta killed her two children by throwing from 19th floor of her residence building who were both below 8 years of age & later jumped herself behind them. Just after a month of this horrible incident one more woman Dipti Chauhan repeated the same act with her one & only 5 year old son from terrace of her 7 storey-building.

Attempting suicide is a cowardice act in itself. Moreover whatsoever pain is agonizing you in life can not be so big that it can make you contemplating suicide. Even if you are upset with your life, just because you suffered nine months pain to bring your child into this world do not give you the right to end its life. Those tiny innocent lives have not yet even begun and before that their own creator destroys them. How unjust & sad!

Why these two women could not sort the issues out? They could have taken their parents in confidence. If their husbands were useless, they could have filed divorce. Don't know about Dipti, but Nidhi was a CA & a professor. Could not these ladies have opted to separate from their husbands and lived on their own. In a city like Mumbai, it is not that difficult for anybody to make two ends meet. Then why die? And kill your innocent children? Why such harshest punishment to them due to your own problems with your spouse/in-laws or your incapability of handling pressure. You should behave maturely.

Lesson to learn for parents of married daughters is to understand the cues. When your married daughter gives you slightest hint also about the harassment from her husband or in-laws, help her. Stand by her. Even if financially it is not possible for you to help her, give her moral support. In a city like Mumbai it is not that difficult to live a life of your own if one has the strong determination to live and face challenges life offers.

Another strong point I want to make through this blog is about Media. They play a dirty role in such situations. We shall understand that it is their job to sensationalize issues. Don't take them too seriously. You should pay attention to only good & positive stories. I read yesterday only that people in depression get more depressed by such stories and get encouraged taking such drastic steps. Dipti was strongly moved by reading Nidhi's case and probably got inspired to end her & her child's lives from Nidhi's case only. I have not even completed this blog and I read one more suicide story of a man who killed his wife and child before killing himself. Media creates hype. They show gruesome photographs of such incidents which really affect weak minds and rather than spreading the right message, inspires people to do the wrong.

You should have a strong emotional quotient. Any issue be it grave or minimal, shall be discussed with your friends, family members. Nothing in this world is impossible. No problem in this world and in human life can be such that it does not have a solution. Every dark tunnel has an opening towards the end & light near that opening. One shall ask for help and take some one else's opinion when he or she can not think by him/her self. If there is nobody close to you, today there are so many help lines also available for counseling. But never in your dream also think about suicide.